Tuesday, April 21, 2009

irony

My life is full of it.
In fact, my life is so jam-packed with irony that I'm bathing in it.
Literally.

I've got the pictures to prove my point.

Prepare yourself. It's not pretty.

ARGHHH!

EEEEEEK!

NOOOOO!

Make it STOP!

It's not the horrific mold or the water stains that makes my blood run cold...
It's not the ancient tub caked with soap scum and other unidentified whatnot that gives me the shivers...
It's not even the cracks in the green 80's tile that scares the mess out of me.

As scary (and slightly embarrassing) as mold, 80's tile, and soap scum can be, they pale in comparison to the (I can hardly write it) FISH tiles on the wall.

For a girl who HATES fish, abhors fish, can't STAND fish -- having FISH tiles in the ONLY bathroom in the house is the textbook definition of Irony.

Did you catch that we only have ONE bathroom?
One.
One shower with disgusting fish tiles.

I haven't taken a bath since we've moved here.
A bath in our house would mean that a normally relaxing time would turn into a radical exposure therapy session for me.
No thanks.
I think I'll stick to showers.
Showers mean that the freaky fish aren't at eye level.
Showers mean that I can try to ignore the fact that the nasty, gross, fish tiles are less than a foot away from me.

Go ahead, laugh at me, but there's a name for my disease people.
It's a real thing. I googled it, so it has to be true.

It's called Ichthyophobia.

According to Wikipedia:
Ichthyophobia is a variety of a specific phobia which is an intense and persistent fear of fish, described in Psychology: An International Perspective as: an "unusual" specific phobia.

See?
It's real.
I'll bet you feel like a jerk for laughing now, huh?

I know it's ridiculous... I know... but I've seriously considered painting over those tiles until we can manage to replace them.

The problem is that Avery really likes the fishy tiles.
It's looking like as long as Finding Nemo is on her favorite Movie List, there will be no relaxing bubble baths for Mommy.

The sacrifices of motherhood. Will it ever end?

14 comments:

Colored With Memories said...

i'm glad lily is asleep right now or else she'd be peering over my shoulder getting very jealous that avery has nemo and friends permanently displayed in her bathtub. i think these crazy fish tiles make you the coolest mom ever!

i will say though that i've never seen anything quite like them...EVER!

Amber said...

I think there is some type of special paint that you can use on tile. You should try it!! Imagine how nice it would look a crisp white. Oooohh, then you'd want to take a bath! :)

maribeth said...

i would have painted over them long ago had they been, uh, b. .b. . b. . birds! ugh! do you think there is a name for my fear???

Debra said...

I just hopped over for a visit from Mama Belles and wanted to say hi. I love your blog design and header, it's sooo cute! One of these days I'll figure out how to make a cute header for mine. I'll be back later to further check out your blog. :)

Kelli said...

I think you could get away with redoing the bathroom...she may grow out of Nemo soon!

Jana (sidetrack'd) said...

You are too funny. I'm with Maribeth, birds are the real thing to be afraid of!

However, this post does beg the question - is Avery allowed to eat Goldfish crackers? With this fish phobia I don't see how you could manage to serve them to your sweet baby girl. :-)

SarahHub said...

Oh, Evie loves Nemo, too. Although she'll be jealous when she hears about this tile...

misty said...

your day is coming when you will have a beautiful, huge bathroom with NO FISH!!!

you are a very creative person, i'm surpised you haven't figured out a way to podge something over them!!!

Sarah @ Thrifty Decor Chick said...

I was just thinking you can knock those few tiles out and replace them with white or matching ones pretty easy...but it sounds like you pretty much hate the whole thing!! :)

beth said...

I don't know how many times I have been in your bathroom, and I never realized you have FISH in there! Now I know why you were asking me about painting over tile:)

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Yeah - I think those fish might scare me out of ever taking a bath, too. I don't blame you a bit, girl!

Just think, in 20 years you will look back and laugh, and remind Avery of the huge sacrifice you made so that she might enjoy her fishy bathtime. :)

Jamie said...

Too funny! I'm sure there has to be a way to cover them up somehow. The one bathroom thing is tough...we had only one for MANY years, all while having 4 kids in the home. It made for a close knit family though:)

Great blog, by the way. It's my first time here.

Stephanie said...

Jadon is obsessed with Nemo too. He would also be so jealous of the fish tiles.

How do you feel about Gold Fish snacks? Jadon calls them "Nemos" now.

kris said...

i never knew you had fish tiles either! hilarious.

and maribeth, it's ornithophobia, what you have ;)

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