freakin out

So am I the only person in America NOT worried about The Swine Flu?

I'm starting to think maybe I should join in the hysteria.

It's all over the media: radio, news, papers, magazines.
It's weaseled it's way into blog posts and wriggled into a Facebook Status or two.

Even the stone-faced librarian that checked us out today had it on the brain.

This is the book I innocently checked out for Avery.

Upon reading the title, Librarian Lady said, "How appropriate given what's going on in the world."

What the what?!?
Lady, it's just a cute kid's book.
*Sigh*

So - here's the deal: I'm making a stand.
I'm refusing to buy into the hype.

I won't be bullied into fear by news anchors and journalists.
I will not allow myself to worry about the economy.
I will not stress about the value of my house or my 401K.
I will not spread messages of doom and gloom.
I won't be fearful of my kid getting Autism from vaccines.
I will not worry that my burger contains Mad Cow Disease.
I will not rush to buy a face mask at Walgreens when someone sneezes in my direction.
I won't carry around a backpack filled with water bottles and dehydrated food.
I won't hide my kids in an underground bunker.
I will not obsess over the the Bird Flu, Pig Flu, or any other kind of Flu.
I won't worry that every bee is a Killer Bee.
I will not worry.
I will NOT be afraid.
I just won't.

Instead --
I will save money, not hoard it.
I will give money generously, and not worry about how I'm going to get more.
I will play in the yard with my kids.
I will pray for my President instead of trashing him.
I will shake hands with people fearlessly.

AND while I'm at it--
I will go on vacation with my family.
I will enjoy the sunny weather and the sand in my toes.
I will love on my babies. and cover them with kisses.
and sunblock.
I won't worry about UV rays. Or skin cancer. Or even wrinkles.
I'll even try to not worry about the fish swimmin' around in the water I'm wading in.
That's how serious I am, people.

The good news is that the sky isn't going to fall today, but if it does, I know the creator of the sky.
He's got everything under control.
I'm so glad.
So, so, glad.

Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)
"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Psalm 46:1-3 (The Message)
God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.
Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

Isaiah 41:8-10 (The Message)
"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You're Jacob, my first choice, descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, 'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.

almost wordless wednesday

Me: Hey Dave, will you hand me the camera?
David: Everything's a blog post to you, Tillman.
Me: yep.
_____________________________


How to give your kids Typhoid:
or
Swine Flu Soup, Anyone?:
or
Somebody Call Hazmat:

That's all I've got.



I just realized that this post doesn't even kind of resemble a Wordless Wednesday post. Not even an ALMOST Wordless Wednesday Post.

*edited to add*
I should probably say that this picture was taken BEFORE I dumped the water. and the sand. ewww.

CUTER than pushkin

Do 'ya think I watch too much Gilmore Girls?
Wait until after you watch the video to tell me your answer.


Keep in mind that the only reason I had to prompt her is because she likes to make me look like an absolute liar.

I promise you she's been walking around singing that song non-stop for at least 3 weeks now.
While taking a bath...
While in the deodorant aisle at Target...
While on the potty...
While playing with her dolls...
Non-Stop.
Seriously.

It's more than a little unfair that the moment I stop to document the cuteness, she makes me look like one of those creepy Pageant Mommies on "Toddlers and Tiaras".

I'm SO not like one of those mommies.
We only went over the hand motions to the song for a couple of hours after I cut off the camera.

Side note:
Have you SEEN that show? You must. If for no other reason than to make yourself feel like Mom of the Year.

Side Note to the Side Note:
Now you see why I will NEVER sing with David. At least, not in front of a mic. Trust me, I'm not delusional about these pipes OR the lack thereof.

somebody's teething

Every outfit little Charlie wears looks just like that these days.

I'm too obsessed with his cute little bitty clothes to cover them with bibs, so I end up changing him a zillion times a day.
Yet another example of how I always manage to do things the hard way.


Look at those bubbles.
Absolutely spectacular.

214 reasons to floss

2
number of children I've had since my last trip to the dentist

0
number of dental insurance policies that we own.

2
x-rays I should have refused to get

1
scary drill

1
jab in the gums

2
questions asked while someone's hands were in my mouth.

3
times I clenched my fists in pain.

3
cavities discovered.

214
dollars spent

1
near anurysm that I had when we forked over the $214 for the bill.

4
pairs of shoes that I COULD have bought for $214.

2
hours spent doing something terribly UN-fun

1
lousy toothbrush

1
mini toothpaste

1
container of dental floss


0
fun toys, plastic rings, or suckers. because being a grown-up STINKS.

Just in case you ever wondered what a $214 tooth cleaning looks like:

Lovely, huh?
At least the toothbrush was pink. That's something.

baby gift

Our youth pastor and his wife just had a sweet little baby boy this week.

Evidently, our church is in the Baby Making Business. There have been over 20 births in the last year or so.
That's a bunch of friends for little Charlie to play with!

We're just stimulating the economy through Doctor's bills and diaper purchases. You know, doing our part...one kid at a time.

Anyway - I made a little banner and thought I'd show 'ya what it looks like. Baby Dutch's room is brown and blue, so I stuck with that theme.

I love my Cricut.
Love it.
Want to marry it.

Is that weird?

an attempt.

I just wanted one picture.

One.

So - I kept on trying...

in hopes that they would randomly BOTH look at the camera at the same time.

There are like 80 shots just like these.

Ummm...definitely not working.

Maybe another time.

By the way - you may notice how HUGE Charlie looks sitting next to Avery. That's because he weighs 16 pounds now.
16.

(Just about all 16 of those pounds are located right in those big 'ol chunky thighs!)

Avery weighs 21 pounds.

They are already wearing the same size diapers. Isn't that a hoot?! My Big Boy looooves to eat.

on my heart today

irony

My life is full of it.
In fact, my life is so jam-packed with irony that I'm bathing in it.
Literally.

I've got the pictures to prove my point.

Prepare yourself. It's not pretty.

ARGHHH!

EEEEEEK!

NOOOOO!

Make it STOP!

It's not the horrific mold or the water stains that makes my blood run cold...
It's not the ancient tub caked with soap scum and other unidentified whatnot that gives me the shivers...
It's not even the cracks in the green 80's tile that scares the mess out of me.

As scary (and slightly embarrassing) as mold, 80's tile, and soap scum can be, they pale in comparison to the (I can hardly write it) FISH tiles on the wall.

For a girl who HATES fish, abhors fish, can't STAND fish -- having FISH tiles in the ONLY bathroom in the house is the textbook definition of Irony.

Did you catch that we only have ONE bathroom?
One.
One shower with disgusting fish tiles.

I haven't taken a bath since we've moved here.
A bath in our house would mean that a normally relaxing time would turn into a radical exposure therapy session for me.
No thanks.
I think I'll stick to showers.
Showers mean that the freaky fish aren't at eye level.
Showers mean that I can try to ignore the fact that the nasty, gross, fish tiles are less than a foot away from me.

Go ahead, laugh at me, but there's a name for my disease people.
It's a real thing. I googled it, so it has to be true.

It's called Ichthyophobia.

According to Wikipedia:
Ichthyophobia is a variety of a specific phobia which is an intense and persistent fear of fish, described in Psychology: An International Perspective as: an "unusual" specific phobia.

See?
It's real.
I'll bet you feel like a jerk for laughing now, huh?

I know it's ridiculous... I know... but I've seriously considered painting over those tiles until we can manage to replace them.

The problem is that Avery really likes the fishy tiles.
It's looking like as long as Finding Nemo is on her favorite Movie List, there will be no relaxing bubble baths for Mommy.

The sacrifices of motherhood. Will it ever end?

daveisms

The other day (just in casual conversation) David shared this golden nugget of wisdom with me. It is my privilege to share it with you:

There are only three irrefutable laws in life...
1. never get involved in a land war in Asia.
2. never say, "No" to the Women's Ministry.
3. never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line

Oh, you've gotta love that church humor!

p.s.
If you've never seen The Princess Bride, you won't get that joke.
It's also possible that you live under a rock.
on Mars.

In the rare event that a rock dwelling Martian inadvertently stumbles upon this post - this video should provide a little contextual clarity:

8 things

Kelli from Outside My Kitchen Window tagged me. She lives in the same city that I moved from a couple of years ago. We never met while I was living there, but I wish that we had! We'd get together for Craft Club...

Anyway - here goes:
_________________________

8 Things I'm Looking Forward to...

1. Going to the beach with our friends in a few weeks!

2. Going back to work in the Fall at the preschool. 'Cause man I need some spending money...

3. Seeing my little sister graduate from High School next month.

4. Hearing Charlie say, "Mama" for the first time.

5. Getting the yard looking all pretty and stuff. Do you think we could make this work in the budget?

(photo from southernliving.com)

I'm thinking that the envelope will have to be a little stretchier to hold the cash for something like that.

6. Going to ITALY next year for our 10th anniversary. We're already saving...and saving...and saving.

7. Taking some sewing classes

8. Calling Dave Ramsey and telling him what I think about his stupid envelopes that we're DEBT FREE in a few months.
_________________________

8 Things I did Yesterday...

1. Went to our little friend Miller's 3rd birthday party where I helped his mommy hot-glue ribbon reins on hobby horses.

2. Brainstormed various excuses for avoiding doing the laundry.

3. Drank waaay too much Diet Coke. Because I need it now to continue living. All of my major organs are totally dependent on Diet Coke to function properly. It's super healthy.

4. Heard that my sister made the cheerleading squad at Ole Miss!!! I'm soooo proud of her and can't wait to go to football games to watch her cheer next fall. I guess that means I have to be a Rebels fan now.

5. Ate a Sonic Butterfinger Blast. I figured I needed to do it now, cause after I stop nursing, I have to go on Butterfinger Blast Lock Down.

6. Watched The Gilmore Girls - oh how i love it...

7. Got reaquainted with my Google Reader. Would you believe that it said 341? What?!? Someone needs to go on Google Reader Lock Down.

8. Fell asleep in Avery's bed with her. While having my hair twirled. tightly. That's how tired I was.
___________________________

8 Things I Wish I Could Do...

1. Sing well. With David. Preferably like her

2. Sew things like this

or maybe this

(photos from hannah kate online)

3. Take a shower without worrying that my house will be destroyed or that Charlie will lose an eye.

4. Finally get the guts to paint and distress my armoire.

5. Get paid to do things like: read blogs, craft, watch TV, and shop. I would be a very rich woman. and happy.
I would be oh, so happy.

6. Go to Archiver's by.myself.
And spend an unlimited amount of money.
But not MY money.
Someone else's.
Someone who lets me keep everything I buy.

7. Go to a New Kid's On The Block concert. Yep. I'm admitting it. I'd sing "hangin' tough" with all those mini-van mommas and not think twice.

8. Blink and make things magically happen. Especially when it comes to cleaning the tub. or painting ceilings. or changing diapers.
_________________________

8 Shows I Enjoy...

1. The Gilmore Girls (why did you leave me???)
2. Lost (even though it confuses the heck out of me)
3. The Office
4. How I Met Your (wait for it) Mother
5. The Young and the Restless. (I know, I know...)
6. Burn Notice and The Mentalist (It's a tie)
7. One Tree Hill (why won't they leave Lucas and Peyton alone already?)
8. The Celebrity Apprentice
__________________________

8 Friends I tag...
Maribeth
Jackie
Misty
Brittany
Rachel
Ari
Kerry
Colin
Pam

fun find friday

I've got some goodies for you to enjoy this week!

A Little Music:
Seeds CD

As a rule, I'm pretty picky about the Christian music I listen to. Cheesy Christian music makes my head hurt.

These days, two sets of little ears are soaking up everything around them - so I've been willing to forgo my personal musical preference for music that will speak truth into my kiddo's lives. This CD seems to be a little bit of a compromise.

22 year-old Jennifer would roll her eyes and something like,
"Oh, come ON... Kids need to be exposed to all kinds of music. We can't shelter them forever. It's important for them to understand the world around them...blah, blah, blah."
and then 32 year-old Jennifer would tell 22 year-old Jennifer to shut it.

I don't know about you, but 22 year-old Jennifer is starting to get on my last nerve.

The lyrics on this CD are taken directly from scripture and the songs are really catchy. I find myself singing Zephaniah 3:17 all the time. A fact which kinda makes my soul happy...you know?

AND - If we can get the penny out of my car's CD player, maybe we can listen to it again.

Incidentally, "ERR!" is what I say when I see that stupid "Error" message on my CD player.

Some Shoes:
Tom's Shoes

A few months ago, David and I went to a conference at Fellowship in Grapevine, TX. They gave a pair of Tom's to every person who was registered for the conference. NIce, huh?

The really cool thing about Tom's Shoes is that for every purchased pair of shoes, a pair is donated to a needy person in a third world country.

They even have little kid shoesies too...Check out these itty bitty ones:

Some Stuff for the House:
off the wall home

I found these at a local store this week and l-o-v-e them. I've seen them other places too and am always drawn to them. They are huge and pretty, pretty, pretty.
Maybe one day I'll learn to make them...

Some Stuff I Found On Etsy:
paper cut art

How's that for talent? Wow.

This cute little sign from Jenny's Bakeshop

My sentiments exactly...

A New Blog to Read:
I like this chick. She's real. She's funny. She's real funny. Check her out.
The Bayou Belles and Their Beau

Happy Friday, everyone!

and we're back!

Ok. I think we're back in business.
I gotta tell you, life without the internet is no fun.
My cable was out for a couple of hours today too. I almost had a heart-attack. Thankfully, both are fixed now. Life is good again.

We had a super fun Easter weekend.
This year, Avery was old enough to understand that Easter was a special day. We explained to her that the reason we celebrate Easter is because Jesus is alive and wants to be our "forever friend". It's pretty amazing to be able to share that awesome fact with someone for the very first time.

I was going to post a few pictures from the weekend, but as I started looking through them, I realized that there were just too many not to do a slide show, so that's what I did.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

overheard

Avery: Gunner. Yook at me. Yook at me in the eyes. Soppit. I said soppit right now.

Gunner: (blank stare).

This is not the first of the bossy phrases that Avery has uttered as of late. It seems that she is destined to follow in her Mother's footsteps; I was quite the tattle-taler and bossy britches in my day.

If I don't watch it, I can STILL be a little bossy.
Just ask David.

One of my earliest tattle-tale moments happened after being called a "midget" in Kindergarten. When I told the teacher what I was called, she made ME sit out during recess for tattling.
Still a little bitter about that one.

Recent behavior indicates that Avery may have a moment or two like that in her future elementary school career as well.
_____________

By the way - I've been super sad lately because my computer is sick. I have no internet. NONE. It's like I'm living in the Dark Ages.
Or worse -- the early 90's.
I don't like it one bit.
The Dark Ages stinks. Really bad.

We're taking the computer to the MAC store tomorrow. Hopefully, things will be up and running again soon. I'm missing my blogging buddies. I don't even want to know how many unread posts my Google Reader has on it now... I'm a little scared.

On the up-side, I've made my bed 2 days in a row. That in itself has to be some kind of record. It's turning out that less internet time means more cleaning time. I might even get all crazy and stuff and clean out my fridge this week.

I've really got to get my computer fixed before I get to comfortable in 1992 and start doing things like listening to "Mmmm Bopp" or jamming out to The Spice Girls while scrubbing the toilet and starching my jeans...

almost wordless wednesday

Avery doing her best impression of...

surprise, surprise!

Mommy Lesson #245:
If at any point in the day you hear your toddler say, "Oh. Mommy. Come here!", drop everything and do so immediately.
But first, brace yourself...'Cause there's no telling what you might see.

Case in point:
Today, while drying my hair, I heard Avery utter the "Phrase O' Doom."
I quickly turned off the hair dryer and rushed into the next room to see what she needed.
What greeted me in the next room?
A lovely pile of Avery excrement.
IN THE CLOSET.

Ugh.
Gross.

The details are a little fuzzy, but I *think* I asked, "What did you do? Did you poo poo in the closet?!?"
To which Avery responded, "Yes, Mommy. You need to clean it."
After trying to hide my smile at the brazenness that is my two-year-old Avery, I said, "Oh. Well, I think that you need to help me."

Needless to say, Avery and I had a serious discussion about the proper placement of human waste this afternoon.

Wowza.
22 year-old Jennifer would be shocked and appalled to know that 32 year-old Jennifer not only openly talks about poop, but unashamedly writes about it on her blog.

What's become of me?

slacker mom takes kid to art show

Last week, Avery's preschool held it's annual Art Show.
When you are 2, art looks a whole lot like scribbling, but then again - so does some very expensive modern art.

Can I just tell you how much I loooove the Art Show? There's something about seeing the handiwork of all those tiny little people that makes my heart melt. I can just picture their chubby fingers picking up the paint brush and going to town. All that possibility unfolding right before your eyes... you could be looking at the first scribbles of the world's next Picasso.
Or Charles Schultz.
Or just the practice round for a future doctor's prescription pad.
Whichever.

My point is...it's pretty cool.

This year, David had a Staff Retreat on the night of the Art Show, so my mom went with me. Avery had a blast showing her "Bella" her preschool and her art work.

As soon as we got to her classroom, Avery spotted her BFF Faith a.k.a. "Faiffee".

It amazes me that they could be that excited to see each other after just two hours of being apart.

Once the initial greeting was over, it was time to run.
And scream.
And run some more.

Since Charlie's arrival into the world, I've had a SUPER hard time getting Avery to school in a timely manner. It was tough with one kid, but two has proven to be almost impossible.
At least that's what I tell myself.
Ultimately, it's just an excuse. A really lame one.
A really lame excuse for the fact that Avery had half the amount of the art that her peers did.

Break.My.Heart.

Clearly, Avery's mommy is a slacker.
I felt totally guilty.

The good thing about guilt? It can be a great motivator. I've made myself a new month's resolution to do my very best to get her to school no later than 15 minutes after it begins.
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it...




In addition to the Art Show, the preschool offered dinner (pizza) and a musical guest (Wild Willy).
Fancy, huh?
Avery thought so.
Wild Willy sang all of Avery's favorites including "Big House".

Avery and Faith weren't so sure about getting up and dancing at first, but they were extremely attentive (and cute) listeners.

From the first moment we met Faith, it has been crystal clear that she and Avery are total opposites - especially in the personality department.

Faith is gregarious, playful, outgoing, and fun-loving while Avery is careful, slightly prissy, and takes a while to warm up in social settings. Once she does, however, she is a total goof-ball. That's usually when the craziness ensues.

Wild Avery + Already Wild Faiffee = T.R.O.U.B.L.E.
and screaming.
and running.
and more screaming.
and a little shouting, "MINE!"
and some more screaming.
and an occasional shove.
and more screaming.
and running...

You get the picture.

In keeping with their personalities, Faith was the first to jump in and dance first while Avery watched for awhile...

and then finally gave in to peer pressure...

She had a blast once she actually started dancing. In fact, the only way I could convince her to leave is to lure her with promises of pizza!

I can't wait until next year...
Maybe next year, Avery will have more art on display.
Maybe next year, I'll be less of a slacker Mommy.
Maybe next year, I'll win the lottery.
Right after pigs fly.