dude, where's my phone?!?

OH Dear Goodness.
If I don't find my cell phone soon, I may have an aneurysm. No really.
Keeping in mind that I have a precious toddler who LOVES to talk on mommy's phone, here is a list of the random places that I have looked:
1. sofa: all I found was crushed up goldfish and an unidentified moldy brown thing.
2. under EVERY piece of furniture in my house: I really need to dust sometime!
3. the dog's crate: even HE was confused about that one.
4. the refrigerator: yes. that's what I said
5. all of the trash cans in the house: even the dumpster. sad.
6. the backyard.
7. avery's playroom
8. avery's closet
9. our car: I found dried up french fries, water toys, and the equivalent of half a box of cheerios on the floor, but no cell.
10. every closet: including inside David's shoes.

Now, I am at a total loss. We have a teeny tiny house... not some cavernous mansion. This shouldn't be hard, right?!?

I may go insane.