Wednesday, March 11, 2009

i'm no duggar

Looks like i have to be a little more careful about what i say and do around the little snickerdoodle.

The other night, she grabbed my face, said, "Restless" and gave me a huge smacker - right on the lips.


I think that you know what she was referring to: my not-so-innocent addiction (a.k.a. The Young and the Restless).

Then yesterday, she covered her mouth, and said, "oh my gosh!" in mock horror at something she was looking at in a book.
She's 2. Not 22.
There's something really disturbing about a 2 year-old saying, "oh my gosh".

I feel like a loser mom.

As if to add salt to my already gaping mommy wounds - I sat down to watch this show:

18 kids and counting

...and I really started feeling like a loser mom.
Because clearly, Michelle Duggar is a saint.
Or a baby-making cyborg.

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I've been battling the whole Dave Ramsey budget thing. Despite my whining and complaining, I've submitted. I'm even clipping coupons. Yes. COUPONS. Saving money hasn't really ever been my "thing", but I'm trying.

As luck would have it, the episode I watched was the "Duggars Money Saving Episode".

Right off the bat, Michelle takes the boys to shop for SHOES at the THRIFT store.
As she is experiencing Morning Sickness.
While pregnant with her 18th baby.

The kiddos are actually excited about going to get new shoes at the THRIFT store.
One of the little boys said,
"It never grosses me out about wearing other peoples shoes...sometimes if it's kinda out of style, like from the 50's or something, it kinda grosses me out, but that's about it."

Wow. Good for you, little guy.
I seriously mean that.
I'm definitely more shallow than him. He's 10.

I'm all about saving a buck or two, but I'm thinking that wearing used shoes might have to be where I draw the line.
Just the thought of putting my feet on other people's toe jam makes me feel all icky inside.
Yep. I'm definitely shallow (or maybe just not in the mood to catch a toe fungus).

Michelle remained amazingly calm while taking her boys thrift store shopping.
She softly reminded them to behave
She cheerfully encouraged them to obey
She lovingly corrected them ("John David. We can't do that. No-no")
and barely raised her voice over a whisper the entire time.
All this while experiencing MORNING SICKNESS.
While pregnant with her 18th child.

When I was experiencing Morning Sickness, I was a total beast to be around.

Michelle's even willing to be the ONLY person in her house without a "J" name. David and I say that she should rename herself "Jichelle" just to fit in.
All this and she homeschools them.

As I watched the teenaged girls perming their own hair and making soap for their mom to use, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous over all the help Michelle gets from her big girls.

They can come to my house and make homemade soap for me any day.
and clean my bathroom.
and help me with the grocery shopping.
and make that yummy-looking casserole made out of tater tots.

Do you think that if I signed up to be a host for an exchange student like Sarah @ Life in the Parsonage, people would get suspicious?
My house isn't that big - I'd just need ONE...

After the episode was over, I came up with a list of things that I learned from the show:
1. I'm a little shallow.
2. I need to get one of those long-haired teenaged gals.
3. I need to watch Y and R without my 2 year old sitting in my lap.
4. I'm not Duggar material - despite the fact that my name begins with "J".
5. I want to eat tater tot casserole.


maribeth said...

okay, this is hilarious! i was laughing out loud! and not about avery because that is a little disturbing, but about you being shallower than john david duggar. let's be honest, i think we are all shallower than him. this may be the only reality show i have ever watched that doesn't appear to intentionally make people look worse than they are. i actually think, or hope, that they make them look better because i don't know that anyone with children can be that calm all the time. it's ridiculous!

Cassandra @ Tripping Around The Sun said...

yeah, you had me cracking up too. Whether you meant to or not...and while i will be used shoes, only really dressy ones from nice garage sales in nice neighborhoods...but there is no way I would consider having that many kids. You're right...she is a saint....and for the record, I grew up on Days and I turned out alright ;)

Kris J. said...

ha! i have had many of these thoughts myself while watching st. michelle and her brood. i mean, come on, she never gets testy? never hides from her children in the bathroom? never uses noggin for five minutes peace? to quote maribeth: seriously.

faithlong112103 said...

You crack me up! My obsession (Days of Our Lives) comes on during Macie's nap time luckily! You are not alone in watching the trashy drama that just makes your day complete after watching it:-) Definitely with you on the shoes! I have always been a firm believer that every kid needs a new pair of shoes! PLUS, our pediatrician did say that wearing "handed down" shoes is not good for kids feet, because they have already been "molded" by another foot, therefore they need their OWN new shoes to be molded by them! That makes me feel better!

Molly said...

You are so funny. I believe anyone can be a 'saint' with a tv crew following them. I blogged about that Tater Tot Casserole....I made it years ago when Drew was small he thought it was poop! You keep being your same REAL, sweet little self with your battles and questions. I can learn more from you than I ever could from Michelle Dugger!

Advice: don't read "Life According to Mister Rogers" He truly is a Saint!"

Rach@In His Hands said...

HAHAHA! Avery saying Restless and kissing you......the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Funny stuff.

I'm a "Days" fan myself. What is it about those dramas that you get hooked?!

RejoicingComet said...

This made me laugh!! We don't get the right channel to watch all the Duggar's shows, but we've seen a couple of them at various times. We've actually met the Duggar's (same homeschool program...), and they're great kids, lots of fun, and I would say more "real" than the TV show makes them look. :D I don't know that I can speak for Michelle, since I've only ever really seen her from a distance. LOL, her kids are good at Ultimate Frisbee, though! :D
As for the "more shallow" comment...I wouldn't say that you're shallow. Being raised in a large family just tends to give you a different viewpoint. That doesn't mean that YOUR viewpoint is wrong!

Erica said...

I'm sitting at my desk laughing out loud- you are hilarious! Yeah, when you find out how to get one of those long haired girls, let me know! And let me know if you come up w/ a good tator tot recipe, sounds great! are totally not shallow- I'm sure I have you beat on that one! :)

Kelli said...

This post made me laugh out loud, mostly about the toe jam because I am right there with you. What I do take away from Michelle is that she doesn't have to yell, her voice is so quiet...I work on that daily, and daily fail. We'll get it together!
I can't believe that Ashley is pregnant!

Mommy of Tyler and Chase said...

When life feels a little overwhelming with the 2 kids I turn on John & kate plus 8 or the Duggers...I have no idea how they pull it off!

Have you seen the Duggers pantry? It's like a hotel's stock of food in there...

You are a great mommy!

Brittany said...

I am cracking up over here!

I watch "18 Kids and Counting" too. I agree, she has to be a saint (or medicated).
I could NOT do it! Not have her patience. Not have 18 kids. Not make my own soap. Not. Not. Not.

I would love to try some of that Tater Tot Casserole though. :)

Sarah @ Thrifty Decor Chick said...

"Oh my gosh!" I cannot believe she said that and kissed you. DYING LAUGHING!!! Y & R is on my last nerve. I fast forwarded through half of it yesterday because it was soooo depressing. I can't handle the Kevin stuff. It makes me sad, I just can't watch it. I need some Lilly/Baby Daddy drama again...they are going off the deep end!!

Jill said...

Okay this is hilarious!!! There are things that my 3 year old does that makes me feel like a loser mom too, so don't be ashamed. On another note, go to the Duggar's website. They actually have their house rules that you can download. They're actually pretty good, but not so applicable for the younger kiddos like yours. You could adapt them though, so you could feel like a saint too! :-)

Erin said...

This post cracks me up! So funny. I am totally NOT a Duggar either. I simply do not have the patience that woman has. Hey, I can admit it! ha ha I think everyone just has their own way of doing things. So don't be too hard on yourself!

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

HA! I want one of those long haired girls too! I'm pretty sure Julie is not going to make me soap...dang it.

I can't even watch the show...I can't get past Michelle's's that for shallow? ;)

The Rambler said...

You have a GREAT blog!

Stopping by from SITS to say hello...

Did you see the episode where the Duggars went to San Fran? giggle.

Colored With Memories said...

so it is Y & R...i wasn't sure from that post from a while back...that used to be my sad that i haven't seen it in so long that i couldn't recognize it.

you aren't a bad mommy...just envision my 20 month old saying "shoot!" when i spill or drop something...nice!

i've never heard of or seen that show...maybe she'd let you borrow one of her daughters...just for a bit...ya think?

my neighbor has 7 ranging from 2 to 16...her older daughters are so helpful...and i'm telling you...those homeschooled kids make the best babysitters!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Oh, Jennifer, you need to be writing for a sitcom or something. Hi-lar-i-ous!

First, the Oh My Gosh thing. Yep...we've dealt with that. It was really hard for me to know what to tell her, because we're surrounded with it all the time - TV, other friends, etc. But I agree - it just sounds wrong coming out of our innocent little angels' mouths.

And then the Duggar show - Hahahah! The thing you said about the tater tot casserole just did me in. I remember watching them make pan after pan of that and being in total awe of the massive amounts they made.

I am definitely not Duggar material, either. Even though I'm a J too.

Carebear said...

OMG, this show always shames me. I am such a yeller by nature, and she is such a quiet mom. How does she do that?! And you are a great mom girly. My two-year-old has learned "dammit" and "Ackjass" from me because I curse out other drivers - my bad! So pat yourself on the back that Oh my gosh is the worst you've taught little Avery!

I actually just came by to tell you that the randomly-selected winner of the Cheesecake Factory gift certificate is Joy from Joy to the Blog. Thanks so much for entering my giveaway, and for becoming a follower! I hope you enjoy my blog! I try to visit at least 2 of my followers daily to spread comment love so I’ll be seeing you soon!

P.S. Come visit for my best giveaway ever from March 23rd-26th!

Margaret said...

You make me laugh just when I need a good laugh! Thanks! If you get one of those long haired teenage girls let me know, b/c I'll take one too...she can spare a few.

Anonymous said...

This was great and I couldn't stop laughing! I mean seriously girl?! You think you're a bad mom...please. Out of the 21 months I have been a mom, I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I want to give myself a pat on the back. And that's exaggerating that number. Do yourself a favor and read my blog, then you will feel like Queen Mom. Or maybe don't read my blog because I don't want to know that I really do suck as a mom. I have one post in particular "One of Those Days"...yeah, it could be the title for more than just 1 post!

Well, I am glad that I popped in to give you a big welcome to the SITSahood! You will fit in just fine! Glad you could join us and hope to see you around!

Stacy said...

Oh my goodness. =p What a CUTE post! This totally endeared me to you and your blog. :)

I LOVE thrift stores and don't mind used shoes (though i haven't gotten any yet) You can always wash them. I bet spraying some blech in the bottoms then rinsing them out and throwing them in the washer would make them "newer-ish" :D

the long haired girl thing was so funny. I would LOVE my little girl to grow up to be so nice and helpful =) I'm not counting on it, but it'd be nice! ha ha

RejoicingComet said...

BTW, I meant to say in my earlier comment, that tater tot casserole is *easy* to make. I thought they gave the recipe on the show where they cooked it?
It's just browned ground hamburger meat, frozen tater tots, canned soup [most people use cream of mushrooom; we use cream of onion and/or cream of potato because we don't like mushrooms!], and salt and pepper. You can add cheese and/or vegetables if you want.

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