I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I'm seriously addicted to a certain soap opera (notice that I said only slightly).
I've been watching it since David and I moved back to our hometown 2 years ago. When we first moved back, we had a house in Ohio that we needed to sell. While waiting to decide whether we should sell it or rent it out, we lived with my mother-in-law.
That's when I got hooked. and I mean hooked.
I realize that my show is a little silly and TOTALLY unrealistic, but I watch it anyway.
Every. Day.
Don't anybody interrupt me while my "story" is on . Someone WILL get hurt.
I find it to be the perfect show to craft to. You don't have to be a genius to understand the plot (after I watch LOST, I feel like my brain could possibly explode). In fact, you don't even have to listen the whole time to keep up. It's perfect for the sleep-deprived multi-tasker.
The other day, while I was drying my hair (when ALL good ideas seem to come to me), I started thinking about all of the re-occurring themes of my show -and just for kicks, did a little number crunching.
You may be TOTALLY bored by this.
You probably ARE bored by this.
I, however, think it's fascinating and I can think of at least 2 people who will agree with me.
You know who you are.
This is what is what I came up with:
Deaths - 7
People are dying like CRAZY on this show. Not regular, old-age deaths, but crazy, horrible deaths: Sudden, dramatic, plot-twisting deaths.
You don't want to live in this town, people. Not at all.
Living in this town means you are likely to do something like fall off a cliff, become trapped in a collapsed building, imprisoned by your evil twin, or FROZEN IN A LAKE.
Births - 2
One baby was born to a woman in A COMA and one without an epidural in a LOG CABIN.
Did I mention that the second baby was born without an epidural?
Just before I started watching this show, another baby was born in an elevator.
I'm guessing no epidural there either.
The writers MUST be men.
Children who miraculously turned into teenagers overnight - 3
Really.
Really?
REALLY???
a-n-n-o-y-i-n-g
"Hi, welcome back from your super-long trip/ two-month long summer camp/ boarding school. You grew SO much while you were gone!"
Barf.
Crazed psychos - 2
I know.
Just 2.
That one surprised me.
People who've had amnesia or memory loss - 3
Conveniently, all amnesia victims were restored to their original fabulousness after a few short weeks.
Dopplegangers - 3 (!)
Times I thought that I would have said the word "doppleganger" before 2 years ago - 0
My friends think that I made up the word "doppleganger". I didn't. It's a for-real word. It means "evil twin" or something...
Don't you just love it?
It may be tricky to find creative ways of incorporating it into my everyday life, but I plan on using it at least once a week from now on.
People who came back from the dead or returned from the grave in some way - 4
Yep. FOUR.
Most of these were people who appeared as visions or something random like that (Another very important reason why living in this town isn't such a good idea).
People hospitalized - 7+
Danger. Lots of danger. Grand-Scale danger.
Danger like fires, car crashes, falling off ladders, drunken driving, falling through frozen lakes, airplane crashes, pieces of large buildings landing on heads, facial burns from poison-laced facial creams, and so on...
Times one of the main characters was jailed - 7
People on my soap spend a lot of time in jail, but never seem to fill out their entire sentence. Hmmm.
____________________
When I was a little girl, soap operas were just about the dirtiest thing on T.V. Admitting that you watched a soap meant that you were guaranteed to receive more than one very disapproving look.
My addiction may cause some to think that I'm at best a little "spiritually delayed", but the way I see it - these days, soaps are way more tame than what you can see on a typical night of regular television. That being said, I still don't think I'm brave enough to call up my second grade sunday school teacher to tell her the news.
Nope. Definitely not that brave.
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13 comments:
HELLO WHAT SOAP OPERA GH I'M ADDICTED TO GH LOL SONNY AND JASON HAVE BEEN IN JAIL MORE THEWN I CAN SAY LOL OHH I DYING TO KNOW WHICH YOU ARE REFREING TOO? TEWLL ME ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!@!
Holy crap, I haven't even finished reading and I'm thinking, OMG, if she is talking about Y&R I am.going.to.lose.it.
I am a Y&R FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have watched it for about 15 years now. I'm off to read more...
AND I was just telling my sis (who I have hooked on this show now too because she's living with us) that not ONE baby has been born in a hospital, normally. Serious. And Noah should be about ten and Summer supposedly was born about two weeks before my son and now she's, what, FOUR? OH, and Phyllis had her THREE weeks after her due date (in the elevator). THREE WEEKS? Whateva. Wasn't the scene with Brad in the ice totally freaky??? OK, I need your phone number so I can call you every day. If you tell me you watch the Bachelor I swear you are my new bff.
I love it because I can miss is it all summer long and then BAM still catch up on the story line without feeling like I missed much.
Not that I watch one...because I'm a PW and they don't do that sort of thing ;)
Do you even try to be funny, or are you just a natural clown?! I love this blog! I also am an addict. Not sure if we share the same love, but probably not since I think I'm the only person under 50 addicted to Y&R. But you're in need of soap-rehab way more than me. I only watch Mondays and Fridays, which is just often enough to keep up on the storylines, but not often enough to feel guilty or embarrassed about it.
I don't think we watch the same ones, but you could definately apply all of that to mine except literally everyone has come back for the dead!
You Girls are cracking me up!
hello. my name is jennifer and i'm a y and r addict.
it's true.
sarah- i totally watch the bachelor too. loving melissa. loving her. helloooo bff.
I realize I've already posted here once and that doing so again probably makes me look like a crazy stalker or annoying spammer, when really I'm just a lonely housewife using the Internet as an excuse not to fold laundry. But I just HAD to share this quick little story with you. Moments ago, I was browsing around BlogHer and I stumbled onto another Blogger site that had almost the exact same title as mine! It felt like a punch to the gut, similar to what I imagine I'd feel if I found my husband in bed with another woman. But through the heavy sickening fog of disappointment floated this one bright thought. Doppleganger. Yay, I get to use Jennifer's made-up word!
P.S. Just reread the other comments and Sarah @ Thrifty Decor Chick - you look way more like a stalker than I do *wink* so thanks for making me feel better!
I LOVE Y&R...it's the best. I haven't watched in a while but I ususally catch up on SoapNet on Saturday nights. I can't believe how they aged Noah and he's annoying. Anyways...keep watchin!
Oh I'm totally a stalker now, especially now that I know you love Melissa as well! Sigh. OK, can't stand Eden. Annoooying. I couldn't stand the first Eden either. Must be a shortage of decent teen actresses out there. And the Cane/Billy/Lilly thing is going to put my over the edge because I bet a million they are not going to tell Cane...it will hurt him too much, blah blah...
Stalker, I know.
i am so out of the loop that even with all these clues, i still don't know which one you are talking about!
i used to be a huge Y & R fan, but now my 4 year old controls the TV...i'm pretty sure she wouldn't be into it! ;)
I love you for admitting this, girl. I had to laugh so hard when I read this because, really, you could have been describing ANY soap...they all have these crazy plots! The one I used to be addicted to was GH...oh my.
I always thought it would be the wackiest job to be a writer for this show...sort of a no-fail job I think, because it wouldn't matter how crazy the ideas are, they still use them. ha!
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