I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I'm seriously addicted to a certain soap opera (notice that I said only slightly).
I've been watching it since David and I moved back to our hometown 2 years ago. When we first moved back, we had a house in Ohio that we needed to sell. While waiting to decide whether we should sell it or rent it out, we lived with my mother-in-law.
That's when I got hooked. and I mean hooked.
I realize that my show is a little silly and TOTALLY unrealistic, but I watch it anyway.
Don't anybody interrupt me while my "story" is on . Someone WILL get hurt.
I find it to be the perfect show to craft to. You don't have to be a genius to understand the plot (after I watch LOST, I feel like my brain could possibly explode). In fact, you don't even have to listen the whole time to keep up. It's perfect for the sleep-deprived multi-tasker.
The other day, while I was drying my hair (when ALL good ideas seem to come to me), I started thinking about all of the re-occurring themes of my show -and just for kicks, did a little number crunching.
You may be TOTALLY bored by this.
You probably ARE bored by this.
I, however, think it's fascinating and I can think of at least 2 people who will agree with me.
You know who you are.
This is what is what I came up with:
Deaths - 7
People are dying like CRAZY on this show. Not regular, old-age deaths, but crazy, horrible deaths: Sudden, dramatic, plot-twisting deaths.
You don't want to live in this town, people. Not at all.
Living in this town means you are likely to do something like fall off a cliff, become trapped in a collapsed building, imprisoned by your evil twin, or FROZEN IN A LAKE.
Births - 2
One baby was born to a woman in A COMA and one without an epidural in a LOG CABIN.
Did I mention that the second baby was born without an epidural?
Just before I started watching this show, another baby was born in an elevator.
I'm guessing no epidural there either.
The writers MUST be men.
Children who miraculously turned into teenagers overnight - 3
"Hi, welcome back from your super-long trip/ two-month long summer camp/ boarding school. You grew SO much while you were gone!"
Crazed psychos - 2
That one surprised me.
People who've had amnesia or memory loss - 3
Conveniently, all amnesia victims were restored to their original fabulousness after a few short weeks.
Dopplegangers - 3 (!)
Times I thought that I would have said the word "doppleganger" before 2 years ago - 0
My friends think that I made up the word "doppleganger". I didn't. It's a for-real word. It means "evil twin" or something...
Don't you just love it?
It may be tricky to find creative ways of incorporating it into my everyday life, but I plan on using it at least once a week from now on.
People who came back from the dead or returned from the grave in some way - 4
Most of these were people who appeared as visions or something random like that (Another very important reason why living in this town isn't such a good idea).
People hospitalized - 7+
Danger. Lots of danger. Grand-Scale danger.
Danger like fires, car crashes, falling off ladders, drunken driving, falling through frozen lakes, airplane crashes, pieces of large buildings landing on heads, facial burns from poison-laced facial creams, and so on...
Times one of the main characters was jailed - 7
People on my soap spend a lot of time in jail, but never seem to fill out their entire sentence. Hmmm.
When I was a little girl, soap operas were just about the dirtiest thing on T.V. Admitting that you watched a soap meant that you were guaranteed to receive more than one very disapproving look.
My addiction may cause some to think that I'm at best a little "spiritually delayed", but the way I see it - these days, soaps are way more tame than what you can see on a typical night of regular television. That being said, I still don't think I'm brave enough to call up my second grade sunday school teacher to tell her the news.
Nope. Definitely not that brave.